Friday, June 20, 2014

I think more seedy hotels should spell "Palms" "Psalms" instead, as in "Tropical Psalms Hotel"

Albums I wished existed:

CocoRosie, Live at San Quentin



I wish to see more scenes of rich men on toilets. Dear television executive, please make this happen.
Don Draper's Diapers.

"It takes a village...of pedophiles."

Corpse Fucker Monthly

Ch-ch-ch-Chocolate Crotch!

Glory! On a lark, changed my LinkedIn page to state that I am a special envoy to the United Nations

The past of yeast resistance

Superhero movie I'd like to see:

The Ombudsmen

Whenever I see a sign for martial arts, I always read it as "marital arts" (which makes the idea of kids walking in there kind of amusing)

Dear Miss Manners,

A Turkish diplomat put his hand on my knee. What should I do?

Signed,
Conflicted in Fresno

For ten points, explain the ramifications of peanut butter, spoons, and handcuffs to international diplomacy during the nascent years of the 21st century.

Adaptive Fabrics. In lieu of jetpacks and flying cars, it's high time intelligent, environmentally adaptive clothing became available. Fabric that changes in density and porousness in response to temperature. Pants that transform themselves to shorts, and then back again, depending on the ambient temperature. As it is now, most of us have decide between dressing for the interior (air-conditioned building) or the exterior (summer heat). Science needs to remove this binary dilemma. Dammit.

Your mission: offend the Swedes.

Walker Bowel Steamship: The Musical

Vitus St. Clair snuck a peek at something she shouldn't have. The digitspool is all aflutter. And Vitus, she only demanded to be ordinary. Poor girl.

Ever been shopping and realize you're in bad need of a European waxing. Me neither.

Fat guys with guns. Hitler was a Bavarian tattoo artist; Mussolini a Venetian gelato maker. James Bond tries on a girdle. Starfuckers give us the green light.

Grown Children at Play is a sign that should exist.

Gay Gargoyles on parade.




 

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