Friday, April 4, 2014

CupCake Bastard

I wanna open up a chi-chi desserterie and call it CupCake Bastard

the kind of place where heavy set guys with beards and shaved heads, a love for Irish punk rock, and who like to fix their own bikes and home brew, could go to unashamedly eat dessert items

the offerings would have somewhat confrontational names, like "Chocolate Crotch Punch" "Shark Butter" "Vegan Nut Tapper" "Rape Cake" "Riot Squad Brownies" "Anarchy Milkshake" "Fuck the Man Cookies" etc. With slogans like "Are you man enough?" Crucial to convey that eating the item is in itself a masculinity affirming act.

Most would have high alchohol content, and many would taste, quite frankly, like ass. But it wouldn't really matter. CupCake Bastard would be awash with so much indie/foodie/hipster cred as to be bulletproof.

And or course there'd be backroom for members only, where the "hardcore treats" are kept. The ones that make your teeth fall out within a matter of minutes.

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