Friday, October 24, 2008

You suck

I once found an LP at a used record store with a great band title and an even better album title. It was "You're Not Fascinating" by the Icky Boyfriends. It was a dollar so I bought it as a novelty. Actually not a bad album, either.

Anyway, I often think of this mantra - you're not fascinating. You're not. Basically, we're all assholes, but to varying degrees. Some people get this and some don't.

I am often mystified by the degree to which people do not understand this. No where has this become more apparent than in the world of on-line blogging. The word blog itself generates nausea for this very reason. It is the pinnacle of egotism, the height of all that is wrong with Americans.

Sure signs that you are a complete egomaniac if you include in your blog...
1. Pictures of yourself, your family, repeatedly
2. When you woke up
3. What you ate or prepared for your family
4. What you wore, as clothing or put on your children
5. If you did laundry
6. If you knitted/played video games/picked at your feet
7. What music you listened to
8. How you feel about packing for a trip or cleaning the house or organizing crap

If you find any of the above details important or interesting, you are surely wrong. I do not feel for you and I think you're the most extreme form of asshole. If you think you are special because you knitted or packed a suitcase, I want to throw up all over you. You are lucky to be alive, fuckhead. You have no sense of your place in the world. None whatsoever.

(ahem)

This blog (photo above) is one the biggest offenders. She takes a photo of herself every day and details where she got each item of clothing. Get off your high horse, lady!

There is another blog that I have been following for a while that is absolutely ridiculous. This chick (featured below) appears to have the most perfect, cookie cutter little life. I like her taste in vintage crap but I cringe every time I am confronted with her life.

I don't know what the solution is. What can be said really? These people aren't trying to hurt me or be assholes. They write blogs for their own pleasure. And no one is forcing me to read anyone's bad blog. I'm the consumer, right? The freedom to choose makes my objections moot.

I still think that it's kind of fucked up. Is it that the internet provides a window into people's lifestyles? A house with no windows could be beautiful inside for all I know. Or that the genre (ick) of blogs manipulates people into thinking that the minutae of their life is important? The second observation is easier to address.

5 comments:

peppergomez said...

in an increasingly exhibitionist and voyeuristic culture, it makes sense that personal diaries would follow suite.

"dear diary" is now written in the hopes or with the expectation that one's friends will read and be interested in it.

whenever i send someone a link to my blog and ask them to read it, i always have a little voice in my head saying "that is a mistake...you are being an asshat...who the fuck cares?"

since when did the majority of people in the world suddenly become interesting enough for the rest of us to wanna read their diary?

peppergomez said...

it's just so damn egotistical and foolish to expect others to care

peppergomez said...

i would also add that, for those arty folks with creative aspiration but who lack the drive, talent, intelligence, or whatever to achieve much (or anything), a blog is a way of pretending to elevate passive consumer actions (watching tv, listening to hip indie bands, watching art flicks, etc.) into creative artistic acts. maybe the first woman you mentioned is like that. "oh, look at the vintage dress i bought..." it's like, great, so you are a snobby, boutique-obsessed consumer. since when did buying shit and bragging about it on your blog become a creative act?

tubbalard said...

I am starting a new internet for cool people only. You won't have this problem there.

peppergomez said...

nice. a realm where every blog is as fascinating as the profound person who writes it. a place where blogs about thrift store clothes purchases don't exist.