when they invented pinball machine soundeffects, it seems they had in mind baroque trills as heard on organ and harpichord. It seems such an obvious reference.
dj's in love: baby, you best believe my heart is one supafly mo'fo' signal processor!
candidate #1: references are just simply too overwhelming, exclude
from consideration, candidate #2: survellance cameras clearly show her failing to look
before she leaps, disqualified.
candidate #3: smiled too much, obviously confused, probation, candidate #4: resume unflinchingly bereft of doublespeak, no chance, candidate #5: too many hobbies, no room for rennaisance men, makes
other employees nervous, taunt with mixed messages, candidate #6: nauseatingly articulate, repell at all costs, candidate #7: has repeatedly visited Belgium buts fails to broach the
topic in interviews, provisional 2nd interview, candidate #8: too sensitive, disqualify and silently ridicule, candidate #9: obviously brilliant, yet hasn't undergone required 37
years of of specialized grooming, worth thus severly
negated, throw them the starvation curveball.
Q: where were you on July 20, 1969?
A: in my mother's womb.
Q: so I guess you didn't see the tough-guy movie then?
A: 'fraid not.
film criteria: adult themes, extreme violence, drug use, profanity, sexual situations, nudity, death and grieving issues, sexual suggestion & humor, cruelty to pets, butt-touching
the rent has been paid
the cat has been spayed
hot peppers & tomatoes
repose in the shade
is it any wonder I seem so staid?
upon enountering the Jewish bookclub:
"A Jew's Guide to the Internet"
"The Jewish Quick-Fix-It Guide to Kosher Home Repairs"
"Jewish Footwear: Fall '98"
"Jews in the Japanese Mind"
"Mushoogana! 1001 Jewish Dance Steps"
"Schlomo's Naughty Stories"
"An Animal Kingdom of Jewish Origami"
"Divorce: Jewish Style"
"101 Withering Jewish Putdowns"
"Why me, G*d?"
"After-School-Sports Done the Jewish Way"
"Who was this Jesus Fellow, Anyhow?"
"Jewish Men- Jewish Women: Oiveh!"
"100 Nutshells: The Best of Jewish Erotica"
"Careful! Jews in New Delhi"
"To Be a Jewish Woman"
"Jewish Lingerie: Manna from Heaven"
"40 Things You Can Do to Annoy a Jew"
"The Art of the Jewish Fistfight"
"Celebrating Bertie's Jew Moon"
"Shimon 'Stetson' Brand: Two-Fisted Rabbi on the Run"
"Jewish Narcolepsy-A Serious Problem,More Serious Than We Imagined"
"Studies in Jewish Dream Interpretation"
"The Ear I Bat Mitzvah Book of Snappy Wittiscisms"
"Sports Illustrated Anthology of Great Jewish NFL Plays"
"Yeshivish & the Underworld: A Mikey Hammer Mystery"
"The Illustrated Encyclopedia of Talmudic Comebacks"
"Warhol's Jewishness Explained Via Silkscreen"
"'So Jew Me' and Other Offensive Wordplays"
"Frumspeak: A Guide to Discreetely Removing Corns, Boils, & Warts"
"Jewin' at the Savoy"
"The Jewish Encyclopedia of Moral, Ethical, and Fashion Sense"
"Kol Nidrei on Three Dollars a Day"
"In My Fetish I See God: The Jewish Ritual Explained"
"Jews We Love To Hate"
"Great Jewish Train Robberies"
"'Jew Gotta Be Kiddin': The Jackie Mason Story"
"Jews in Zero G"
"Last Minute Gift Ideas for that Hard-To-Shop-For Judaic Militant"
"Kibbutz V Bitz"