Thursday, March 6, 2008

we've been told that April is the cruelest month, but how about the rest of our yearly months?

January is a good month for prawn fishing

February is the most capricious month

March is the month named for lighthouse keepers

April is distracted by May's premature entrance (p.s. it also once

considered bringing a lawsuit against TS Eliot for defamation of

character, but was placated by the realization that it would be around

long after that trifling little poem had been forgotten)

May is the worst month for effervesence

June is the month of the melted hairshirt

July is the mouthiest month, it never relents

August cannot belie its tuba legacy

September tries hard but can't remember

October chews with its mouth open

November was discovered by January at a local talent show

Decemeber is up to its neck in false promises

okay, how about some rhymes-January would be merry, if not so cloying and contrary February tarries, all my entreaties will she parry March leaves you partched, stalkeyed, fitfully stanched April dines on swill; I'd say it's had its fill May has come to play; won't you show the way June has come too soon, curses from the man upon the moon July: how spry, me: / sweat as I go by August sought only trust, found in us decay and rust September stares hard into the embers, yet simply can't remember October roved 'round here, never knew a hint of fear November's left of center, full of exploits which portend err? December is bereft of all distemper, semper debonair

sumpin' for th' I'ttle lady?

Sir Harry's extraordinary feats have earned him the queens

distinguished flying circus

a sage man, he who treds amongst the earwigs

could or should a newly emerging infant be described as being


you're so ugly you gotta be granted visitation rights to yr own damn


Lady Cabbies: Temptresses Behind the Wheel

Destination-Untold Erotica: Naughty Female Travel Agents

Shaking with Pleasure: Freemason Vixens and Their Secret Art of


Superfly Bitches from Somewhere East of Russia

Sexcapades: Sluts on Ice

Oral Gratification: Comely Doe-eyed Lady Dentist Dames

Busts in a Brassiere: Sexy Grrl Cops and Their Torrent of Tuff Love

Rx for Love: Women Doctors Share Their Secrets for Sexual Healing

Addicted to LovelLove is the Drug: Sexy Drug Dealers Administer a

Midnight Fix

Talk Dirty to Me: Lusty, Busty Garbage Babes Describe Sexy Encounters

at the Dump

Firing Line: Wenchy Women Weapons Experts Shoot Down Eager Glances

Elbow Deep in Heartstrings: Wanton Lady Surgeons Driven Mad by

Secret Pangs of Desire

Town of Fury: Town Meeting

Good afternoon folks, let me explain my motives for calling you all here: 1. furynecks down 1-18 2. chittlins smoked by outhouse fury 3. clawhammers furybound for county court 4. deputy Fury on his knees in Lulu's backroom 5. little league fury match 6. pissin' fury nets you 5 to 11 7. fury-high face-off 8. Fury-Cottlin trade embargo 9. bitter farmland fury-fest 10. vehement scunt upsets fury fair 11. fury of creative incest at Fuseli ranch 12. Gaea's kin doin' fury tricks 13. damn fury wreckin' roadside signs 14. Alecto coffee entitled free fury 15. vicious infighting in next years fury campaign 16. Fury McGlaughlin dumpin' on us his elders over nat'l airwaves 17. fury of our love in our hour of fire 18. fury table upsettin' the elements 19. fury of irrational eye-doctors 20. fury of unfocused colors along necktie ridge 21. fury HI things a' thinkin' 22. fury of summers end 23. horsebarn buyin frenzy casuing owner induced fury 24. coerced marriages- then th' fury of divorce 25. fury of unloved pets 26. fury of insider trading , 27. college boys behind bars & then the fury of daddy's wallet 28. sharkfist fury 29. fury of competin' adoption 30. fury-rods stopped finding things 31. not enough fury in public hangings 32. fury of the church underling 33. fury of the rigged spelling bee

baum baum da didditie baum, baum baum da didditie dawn baum baaa baum baum da didditie baum, baum baum da didditie baum baum baaa repeat 63X- hey, really great, now you're playing rock and roll (which, by the way, now includes old guys and young guys)

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