Thursday, March 6, 2008

Now more than ever there stands a wise sage in every corner, eager to

take the opportunity to help you live your life. Truly the wise man

decendth from atop his lofty snow-capped summit and from deep

within austere far-eastern shrines. For the benefit of the white-collared

modern, vexing world, he may now be found,whatever his form, within

hallowed $100,000 & up solid oak boardrooms and posh Denver

retreats, wherein these 21st century shrines lie earnest seminars in the

attainment of non-taxable divinity. Let us consider but a few of the

roads to bliss:

oh wise man, please divulge to me the secret beauties and wisdoms of

your conservative 401K kickback scheme wl 114 and .15% yearly

dividends...

and the divinity inherent in college tuition write-offs with a focus upon

post-graduate IRA deferments...

charting strong stock growth in durable goods (Maytag, Nike, Union

Carbide, etc) then investing from within during a bullish year...

five to seven with Intermediate Treasury Bonds coupled with Shaitsu

herbal massage...

minimizing any and all frequent flyer hassles with selfless generosity

and a minimum of haggling...

finding that quality time with your spouse while thwarting corporate

takeovers...

beating those plastic surgeons at the tummy-tucking game while

retaining a legal E-Z form limit and still finding time to pick the kids up

from soccer...

bringing the buddha into the boardroom to uncover taxpayer loopholes

those pedantic western analysts never dreamnt possible...

Deepak Chopra's Book of Spicy Indian Cuisine & Holistic Investment

Advice...

accelerated life insurance- is it for you in this era of 'friendly'

capitalism?...

Nortek, Safegaurd Scientifics, Ross Stores, Western Digital, Dtgitech:

corporate carpetbaggers put on a happy face...

myopic investment policies: how to avoid them using ancient asian

acupuncture techniques...

criminal cabbies in Mexico offer life lessons to the daring investor

interested in maximizing quarter-term yields...

the 'I-Thou' philosophy in interpersonal corporate machinations -or-

how to dispell Machiavellian manipulation tactics at office parties and

coffee machines...

quality job talk with your kids using Bennington Research Labratories'

CareerMosiac...

better sex and price gauging via internet...


show up to work wearing Superman underoos and beating an ancient

Egyptian tamborine, laughter and levity in a tension filled layoff season

are sure to follow...

Philip Garret on attaining a reliable bi-annual dividend from junk bonds

while remaining spiritually centered...

fixed-rate income home mortgages got you down? Burn down the

house! One investor's unusual method for casting off spiritual shackles...

PBHG Growth Fund Annual Marriage Seminar: reassure your spouse that

they're almost as important to you as that almighty greenback...

NYC Denture Fund- a no miss situation for the old boy's CEO club...

Lucent Technologies is proud to sponsor the Dalhi Lama's new spoken

word acid-world jazz project, on Geffen's Holy Word label, guest

appearances by Michael Stipe & Eddie Veder...

skating the Berkshire!Hathaway (class B) airline fiasco: an Asian

centered holistic method of theraputic recovery...

escaping pangs of nagging guilt during moments of corporate

downsizing (aka the axe which falls needn't nick your conscience)...

Lee lacoca on white collar hospitality: 'show them the door, but always

with a smile'...

the teachings of the great Gandhi help Wall Street Members win BIG...

Zen and the Art of Greed...

Service with Divinity: Eastern Philosophy & the Taco Bell Commitment

to Bliss...

his allusions to elusive illusions elucidated elysian illuminations

kurt loder's day off: "

the unfortunate collision of limbs that is Pater Noster dancing

really, you could feed them shitfish platters, as long as it had sideburns

on, they'd be dancin'.

terry southern: a life built largely, it seems, on being in the right place

at the right time (on the right plate)

victor bockris: rock and roll scholar extraordinaire, NRA member ,.

mostquitoes should be renamed 'drain bugs'

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