Thursday, March 6, 2008

knowing glances & worried grins inviting smiles & scortching knuckles cracked fingers & polished thighs satisfying dissipation & stultifying involvment bedded breakfasts & sleepless cures stalled fistfights & hapless uncoverings shuckless widows & thankless awards moonlight recoveries & symphonic unease unleavened surprises & mystery floors reckless recluses & unpardonable priests carpeted lies & whiskeyjacked stares functional preludes & tendered estates idolized flecks & impenetrable affections bastardized policies & trustworthy kites tearstained tumblers & shitcaked sores steeltipped robes & weathered reunions effluvic factions & overlooked innards fictitous units & submergable rage indolent bodyblows & quenchable nonchalance scented hymns & rabbiteyed lullabyes silverspoken bandicoots & tactless eurekas unemphatic opera & tuckaway princes tenderized worshipings & retractable lanes

i'd like the combination plate what does that include? well, for starters, it's served on a bed of rice, upon which is placed a generous portion of uncooked rice. It's topped with a spicy sauce consisting of rice, rice, and rice. Oh, and we also have a side salad made up of unalterable particles spewed forth during the birth of our sun. Scientists believe these fossilized chunks may hold within them the very answer to our galaxies initial and very tempestuous birth, so you may not have room for dessert.

eczema: just scratching the surface

acne: exploding from within

piles: the in/out thruway

enema: blast off

irratible bowel syndrome: the enemy within

lesbianism: finger in the dyke

bestiality: heavy petting

infanticide: throwing the baby out with the bathwater

incest: motherf***er

winemaking: raisin d'etre

ride greyhound bus lines and travel like a dog

her old world charm, coupled with her deadly karate kick, made her the

perennial favorite with the boys from the private sector

his 9 inch toenails, along with his shrewd investment advice, made him

a shoe-in for Long Island KappelMeister

first I took a shit, then I took a piss shitting then pissing, pissing then shitting shitting then pissing, pissing then shitting what else was I to do?

her specialty: selective misery

her take on the guy thing: guilty until proven innocent

"Koolaps inna party zone Jac Mac, kick yer booskey, BYOB colebrew ha

ha!"- JacMac & RadBoy

when you lose the ping-pong game, for god's sake, don't take it out on

your foreskin

ahh...floating on the cloud that is my uncle's inheritance

hairsperm, hairshirt, hairfear, hairtank, hairrage, hairbriain,

haircurrent, hairerrend, hairgone, hairbox, hairplane

we've got some organized religion, here's a gun, here's a knife, now go

to it.

ok, we've got some conservative investment type things for you to do,

here are a few high profile roughneck sensations and stuff to further

your entertainment career, just memorize the first 13 pages of this


oh, and we thought up a few tangible thoughts of industrial-sculpting to

help close that elusive post-graduate deal.

wait, we've got a racy suit for you to wear...there, ok, you're ready to do

some convincing.

hey, just so you know: after dinner mints are going to be followed by a

session of earnest ideological brow-beating. Just so you know.

oh, you must be mistaken, hand-wringing is on the 19th floor.

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