Thursday, March 6, 2008

Fanfare For The Common Comma

little boys dream of spaceships, little girls valentines can any of us truly bridge this chasm?

the heart shaped rock with its faint pinkish color holds little appeal for me, but she, she collects it in her pocket and sets it on her shelf

conversely, that angled chunk of ice with its projectile sleekness looks like Steve Austin's rocketship; this object had me rapt for a good 40 minutes as I walked beside my mother in the snow; I am reminded not to lag, so preoccupied I have become with my new toy

then, almost 20 years later, a small rock shaped just so with winglike sides and a cockpit's arch convinces me to pick it up for a few seconds of airborne whoosing

my female friend spies a heart shaped rock shortly before valentines day, tucking it away for significance

the valentines-spaceship split remains

will the 2000's usher in a new breed on new york rocker?

will the backbeat be as vital as in years before?

will the frenzied twin guitar assault be as visceral as we've been led to


will the singer's self-destructive behaviour jab so effectively into our

sense of outre is in days gone by?

will the drummer's poolside antics still shock and amaze as once before

in simpler times?

will roadies command the same respect and groupies be so loyal?

will critics still bother to hunt for adjectives?

will a new generation of hearthrob save the power ballad?

will college kids still feel it matters they take the stage?

will scholars still bother to appraise the rock and roll rulebook?

will downtown noisegroups still redefine our sense of cutting edge?

will the kids still be allright?

Lord deliver me from...

- tidy ideas of behavorial acceptability and social protocol

- 'safe space' and its attendant ideology

- those who would sacrifice creativity, passion, and humor for a contruct of purity

- pedants masking as earnest souls with their agendas and crusades

- slogan slinging mouths holding banners aloft

- overly earnest historical revisionists

- bird brain politicos

- left winger catch phrases

- 'guilty until proven innocent' maxims levelled silently at us guys

- the term 'empowerment' when it sells books

- alternative coffee joints

- 'personal agency' types who I never see smile

- paint-by-numbers morality

- connect-the-dots ideological perspectives

- sensitive pony tailed young men who secretly enjoy porn

- hairy legged grrls who grow tired of their kow-towing boyfriends too eager to think the right thoughts

- drafts to reinvent the wheel

- sexuality when it's trendy like jeans

- bandwagoneers who command more respect when they talk of morality

- crusaders who travel in packs

- the preface Til tell ya something...'

- greyhound

- sacred cows

- the power of the printed word

- hurricakes

- office jokes about the wife's clitoris

- schoolyard bullies

- snowy evenings with the Tucson All Men's Gay Chorus

- truculent barmaids f.

- hot air balloons gone awry

- gym teachers who froth at the mouth - -.»• *•-••-, ^ ?;

- girls who serve me oysters at their parents house

- 150 channel surfing capability

- panels of experts

- three bussinessmen in a black Lexus

- elaborate strategems

- designing women

- parents with an agenda

- southern aristocracy

- faxing simply because one can

- vegan cyber-communities

- proactive bussiness seminars

- academic hyperbole

- alcoholic film connoisers who invite you back to their place

- pot dealers eager to 'turn me on' to The Dead

- watching effeminate men run

- high school acne

- boners in church

- girlfriends with diarrhea

- bad acting & the Empire Cafe

- mafia owned steakhouses

- a mix of whale & Star Trek posters upon the wall

- beverly hills antique dealers

- growing up fast

- curbside buttercookies

- english pies

- spare rib joints, period

- pleasure tax

- the cult of Tarentino

- NPR's resident film critics

- getting stranded in Palookaville

- vegan proselytizing ('not just your average vegetarian restaraunt, there's somethin' heavy goin' down inside, the banners been posted, the message been sent. Those mother's were vegan proselytizing, their words sound so enticin'...' to the tune of "Kung-Fu Fighting")

- blistering handshakes

- slackjawed burger employees

- so much english pop music

- asexual comic store owners

- lesbian folk singers on my car radio

- choppy sentence sructure f

- toothbrushes pulled from the toilet

- listless party banter

- possibilities of tongue plaque

- home fries

- faux wiccans

- cafe mystics

- men who wear fanny packs

- pay-per-view's demonic voice and his subliminal suggestion to accept a life of Budwieser complacency while ordering the 9:30 showing of 'Tin Cup'

- the New Brunswick Sackbutt Enselmble

- my own whimsy left unchecked

- big black shoes on capricious lovers

- the three no no's of graceful existence: tv remotes, Phish, Ohio

- forgetting how to dress myself

- the unholy information trinity: Time, Newsweek, USA Today

- Catholic girls when they're drunk

- hangnails which require surgery

- NYC anarchists who proport to play 'free jazz'

- blueballs and cheap guitars

- posturing poets

- losing so much face I'm no longer even recognizable

- 'down on your luck' friends

- the letter x when it runs out of time

- 'no fear' & 'oakley thermonuclear' car decals

- ballbusters whatever their way, shape, or form

- turquois sports cars

- tenured poets grown lazy

- the cocktail craze

- advanced priggishness

- long haired guitar instructors who wear hightops with tight black jeans

- late night cafe crowds who turn to stare then resume yapping

-my own scaborousness

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