Thursday, March 6, 2008

1996's 14th of Noventide:

Jello Biafra around lunchtime: "Yikes, I forgot to take my vitriol pill!" posthumous divorces are popular this time of year marriage via absentee ballot is especially timely during the autumnal months

premature burial comes recommended to all spring travelers vicarious seizures are well worth a try in the hot summer season implied birth is topical during winter's chill

there now exists a new designer Hollywood drug diet, a glamorous simulacra of those tedious things we call meals; all sunny self-improvement types will no doubt rush to embrace this multi-colored new solution.

"Donuts & OJ"- the wacky antics of two clownish inner city crack dealers two roads...! took the road less travelled. It led to a tar pit. just how exactly does one 'succeed in spite of oneself?'; it's one of the odder allegedly self-explanatary phrases we have, an example?: Julian Cope is a musical wanker who, sometimes succeeds in spite of himself.

MTV boy 'guesses' he is a trojan man because he's part of the generation afraid to embrace definitives, always skating around decisive statements with a handy plethora of modifiers, qualifiers, etc. To wit: maybe...i guess...sort of...like...kinda...that's cool (this truly taking the cake, often times implying a sort of elastic cooperation not by way of agreement, but instead by dint of more plastic passivity-the feeble flip side of tolerance's coin. For example: "Hey, I'm going to turn this music down, it's too loud" "That's cool" or "I know I promised to be there tonight, but I'm going to have to cancel" "That's cool" and "Man, I think Jerry basically sucks" "That's cool" so "We really need to talk about your behaviour during quartet rehearsal" "That's cool" to "Sorry I drank all the OJ" "That's cool" inevitably "I know I 've not paid you back for last week, but I really need to borrow some money again for tonight" "That's cool" then "Hey, I'm gonna be a little late with the rent this month" "That's cool" - oh, but how these can grow when remaining perpetually unchecked by the flaccid "that's cool" This must be how facists are able to rise to power, over the bendable backs of "that's cool" This has been described quite well in one of Jed Sanchez's terse philosophic fragments whereby a bothersome sound encroaches upon someone who'd simply rather not 'deal', until the sound is literally upon their door, or worse, in their lap, and the problem has now become too great to ignore, but our poor feeble friend has simply not mustered the coping skills neccessary to firmly handle the situation, and generally does what is known as 'freaks out'.) Whereby the distant, sporadic clap becomes an insistent tap, then an intolerable clang.

mysterious millionaire's last words- 'kumbaya indeed...'

so now we all worry; who gets the loot?

and who's this kumbaya person anyhow?

crypticism isn't appreciated on a rich man's death bed

poet, scholar, moonbeam to boot

a chorus of soggy bottomed inanity

a mad march mary ann- her woebegot righting of wrongs

bless it's heart, for the dictionary is still full of surprises

take for instance two words- 'grubstreet' and 'quodlibet'

the former: adj. 1.'produced by a hack, poor in quality: a grubstreet

book' (1640-50) as a noun: a street in London, England: formerly

inhabited by many impoverished minor writers and literary hacks, now

called Milton Street. 2. petty and needy authors, or literary hacks,

collectively.

the latter: n. 1. a subtle or elaborate argument or point of debate,

usually on a theological or scholastic subject. 2. music: a humorous

composition consisting of two or more independent and harmonically

complementary melodies, usually quotations of well-known tunes,

played or sung together, usually to different texts, in a polyphonic

arrangement (1350-1440, ME 'what pleases, as you please')

the narcoleptic dance marathon was an' unmitigated failure; all responsibe now sleep with the fishes

chaos in the chichin

settle back for a meal of spoonerisms, forkerisms, aphorism mints, digestivides, jingoisms, and a pre-dessert apertif of intimidation, humiliation, and insinuation

silly songs about lions in the kitchen

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